Whilst chatting with a friend on Skype recently she asked me what I miss about England now that I have been living in sunny Andalucía for one year. It didn’t take long for me to reply, liquorice, not just any old liquorice but proper Basset’s hard liquorice sticks shaped like an oar or paddle with ‘Bassetti’ stamped on the flat end. I love it.

Four days later Pedro the postman was complaining that he couldn’t get my post under the door and that I should invest in a post box. Anyway, he handed over a thick jiffy bag that, when I opened it, contained sticks and sticks of lovely hard liquorice and a note saying ‘I will not take any responsibility for the health of your teeth.’

And not wishing to appear ungrateful, nevertheless, she sent me the brown version instead of the shiny black ones. Also, I think they are shorter than I remember but that’s probably because Bassett’s is now owned by the evil Kraft Foods Group Inc., and their marketing men have increased profit by reducing the size of the stick. I said they were evil.

Which reminds me, when I was younger (much younger) we used to suck the flat end then dip it into a bag of sherbet lemon but that’s another story. And for northern England readers I am talking about Kali.

And now I am off to brush my teeth.