To my dearest sister, currently knee-deep in naan in Rochdale

🇮🇳 While you luxuriate in the aromatic embrace of tikka masala and onion bhajis, I am observing His Majesty’s sacred rites of Christmas lunch — solo, but with full ceremonial pomp.

Today’s Proper British Menu (curated with absurd national pride):

• A Bucks Fizz aperitif — Sussex bubbles colliding with mandarins from Cornwall. A union more stable than most governments.
• Stuffed Avocado à la Prawn Cocktail — Avocados hand-foraged from the lush hills of Middlesbrough (don’t ask), paired with langoustines who bravely swam up the Thames estuary and volunteered for duty.
• Braised Turkey Leg — ethically confused bird from Norfolk, slow-cooked until it repents.
• Crispy Roast Potatoes — Lincolnshire spuds, roasted to the point of existential crisis.
• Carrots and Sprouts — the vegetables nobody asked for, but tradition insists we punish ourselves with.
• Yorkshire Pudding — from Yorkshire, obviously. Anything else would be treason.
• Cheese Board Finale — Wensleydale and Stinking Bishop selection so pungent it could declare independence.

All plated with the restraint of a royal banquet and eaten with the solemnity of a solo opera.

So while you pass the poppadoms, know that I raise my flute to you — and to the absurdity of British culinary nationalism, alive and well in Monte Lope Álvarez.

Merry Christmas from the Empire of One.

God Save The King!

🇬🇧🐾🎄

That braised turkey leg, incidentally, turned out rather well — I've written up the full recipe here, barley, carrots, leeks and all, for anyone tempted to try their own Empire of One Christmas lunch.

Find more recipes and food adventures here.

Wonky photos, proper food, genuine adventures – The Flexible Chef